As we are stepping into a new month, I am reminded to give myself grace as I navigate through motherhood.
✨I will give myself grace when I’m feeling overwhelmed by my little blessings. Raising a child is no easy feast. But I will remind myself, in the middle of the chaos, that I was given these babies for a reason and I am the best mom that they need.
✨I will give myself grace and know and accept that I will make mistakes. I will ask for forgiveness, but most importantly, I forgive myself.
✨I will give myself grace when the laundry is piling up, the house needs tidying up, and other household chores get pushed to the sides. As long as my family is fed and happy, that’s all that truly matters.
✨I will give myself grace even when my body is not up to society’s standards of #bodygoals. I will choose rest when I need to, and will remind myself that this body gave birth to a baby and that is pretty amazing, if you ask me! 🙌🏽👏🏽🙌🏽
✨I will give myself grace when I want some “me time”, and not give in to #mommyguilt. I am a woman first, before I am a mom.
✨I will give myself grace simply because I don’t have to have everything figured out. And if I fail today, tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to try again.
One day, you will look back and see that along you were blooming.
Morgan Harper Nichols
2020 : a challenging year to say the least, where we all have experienced loss one way or another. Loss of what was once familiar. Loss of our sense of “freedom”, as vacation plans, restaurants outings were being cancelled and we were called to shelter at home. Loss of our businesses. Loss of our jobs. But, the hardest part of it all, was the loss of millions of humans lives.
Despite its challenges, 2020 offered us something we didn’t know we needed.
We learned to be resilient, to put the need of our community above ours. We learned to smile with our eyes and connect with our neighbours we were once to busy to chat with. We learned to put love in action through acts of kindness, generosity. We learned to be creative and spend the quality time, we were desperately crying for, with our loved ones.
We were forced to stop our fast paced lives and appreciate the beauty of the stillness around us.
2020 opened our eyes to some racial issues that were deeply rooted in our society and as a black woman, I’ve never been prouder of my melanin skin, of my brothers and sisters around the world, who rose up to speak against racial injustice.
At the beginning of the year, we were talking about 2020 vision. And I truly believe that if we look closely, we did get that 2020 vision: to see what was there all along, buried deep inside us.
“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?…”
Isaiah 43:19
As we close the year, I want to encourage all of us to embrace all the good that 2020 has brought us and to realize that all along, despite the hardships, despite the heartbreaks, you were blooming.
Today I turn 33! I always like to reflect on the days leading up to my birthday on what I’ve accomplished, and what the year has taught me. The year 2020 has been full of surprises, to say the least, and the greatest teacher yet, but I am still grateful because I’ve learned so much about myself in these past months.
As I was reflecting on this year, a quote that I saw on Instagram resonated with me, and it goes like this:
“We are not going through life; we are growing through life.”
So today, I wanted to share some life lessons I’ve learned (or at least started to figure out) during my 33 years on Earth. Some are deeper than others, but they are all valuable.
1. God is in control. If you know me, you know that I am a control freak. I’m always “wrestling” with God, because I always want to know what’s the next step or what He’s got planned for me. But I’ve learned to surrender and let Him do what He does best!
2. If you’re breathing, God is not done with you. God has so much more in store for us! This chapter you’re currently living is not the end of the book! Take courage and have faith!
3. If you can worry about it, you can pray about it. Worrying is pointless. Use that same energy to pray your way out of the situation!
“So, which one of you by worrying could add anything to your life?
Matthew 6:27 TPT
4. Life is short. Cherish every moment. Don’t put off what you can do today!
5. Check in often with your parents and loved ones. 2020 has been eye opening. Again, life is short. Don’t take them for granted.
6. Put your phone down and be present. Whether we are eating dinner together as a family or whether I’m putting my daughter to bed, I try to put my phone away (not always!). But let’s not let technology steal these family moments away from us.
7. You are an example, whether you want to be or not. People are watching you and you are either a bad or a good example. Be intentional about the kind of legacy you want to leave behind.
8. Laugh at yourself. It’s not that deep. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
9. Move your body. A 10 or 30 minute workout, a walk, taking the stairs, however you choose to move your body, these little habits will make a tremendous difference psychologically.
10. Take care of your skin. Put on sunscreen. Do regular facials. Growing up, I’ve watched my mom always take care of her skin. She was always doing a tomato or lime base facial. And honestly, she has the best skin! Your skin is your best accessory! Take care of it.
11. Embrace your body, flaws and all. Repeat after me: “I am FLAWESOME!”
“I am FLAWESOME!”
12. You will make mistakes and that’s OK. You are only human. Being a perfectionist, I put a lot of pressure on myself. But then I’ve learned that if I do the best that I can, that’s enough!
13. Give yourself grace. Just as you extend grace to others, extend grace to yourself. Sometimes, it’ll take for you to say out loud to yourself: “I forgive you. I forgive you for self-sabotaging, for doubting you, for not loving you.”
14. It’s OK to say “No”. Better to say no when you’re not sure, than committing to something just to please everyone.
15. Not everyone will like you. And that’s perfectly fine. We are more than 7.7 billions on this planet. It’s OK if a few don’t like you.
16. Pick your battles. Not every battle needs to be fought. You don’t have to show up for every argument you’re invited to.
17. Surround yourself with people who will lift you up. You are directly influenced by the people you spend the most time with. Spend time with people who inspire you to be better.
18. The quality of your thoughts determines the quality of your life. When thoughts of defeat come, do you sit comfortably and entertain them or do you replace them with the truth, the word of God?
19. Don’t compare your beginning with someone’s ending. Comparison kills so many dreams.
20. Be your greatest supporter. Believe in yourself! Celebrate your victories, even the smallest ones.
21. No one has it all figured out. We are all trying to do our best. So, relax and breathe a little!
22. If you don’t know something, ask. Google it. Educate yourself. There are no excuses to stay ignorant.
23. Speak up for yourself. When you do so, you specify what’s acceptable to you and honor your own boundaries
24. Speak up for what is right. Don’t be silent. What is in your hands? Your platform? Your Blog? Your music? You? Don’t let the opinion of others stop you from doing what is right.
“The time is always right to do what is right.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
25. It’s OK to change your mind. We get new information by the second. I remember, back in January, when a few people were starting to wear masks, I was looking at them like “Seriously…” But now, let me catch someone with no mask on!!
26. Some people are in your life for seasons, others for a lifetime. You will outgrow some of your friends (or they will outgrow you). Learn to leave behind what needs to stay behind.
27. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Don’t ignore the signs.
28. Asking for help is wisdom. Not a weakness.
29. Save for rainy days and dreams. Build that Emergency fund, Vacation Fund, “Designer bag” Fund etc. Set up automatic transfers to different savings accounts and name them according to the intended purpose.
30. Don’t let #FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) rule your decision making. You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.
31. You can be a good mom and still want some time off. Motherhood is hard! Whoever says it’s not is not a mother.
32. Make time for yourself. And don’t feel guilty about it. Even superheroes have to rest sometimes.
33. Lastly, You are, simultaneously, a masterpiece and a work in progress. You are constantly evolving, learning, progressing. Embrace your journey!
So much more that I would love to share! But let’s stop with these for now. I hope that one of these life lessons has resonated with you. What’s something you’ve learned over the years?
During this quarantine, zoom meetings and impromptu video calls are more frequent than ever! This is my tried and true makeup routine, when I only have less than 10 minutes to spare before my meetings. It gives you a natural, put together look, but with the hint of glow we all want!✨
